Love Shyness Survival Guide / Do I Suffer from Love Shyness?

Have you ever wondered why you have a
hard time speaking to the opposite sex?
Everyone has a little natural shyness,
however some are extremely shy when it
comes to meeting the opposite sex. They
might be over-anxious, extremely worried, or
show signs of physiological arousal and
nervousness that limits their usual behavior.
This article will review some findings of the
love shyness .
Men and women of every age and sexual
orientation can experience it, but it primarily
affects heterosexual men. The person can
lead a normal balanced life in most respects,
but when facing someone attractive, or
thought of in romantic terms, they experience
extreme distress and anxiety symptoms
including sweating, stomach pain, nervous
habits, trembling, and palpitations.
Love shyness can become a serious problem
that affects other areas decreasing quality of
life. Those who do not work to overcome it
cannot reach the degree of sexual contact.
If you think you suffer from this and it is
seriously affecting you, consult a
psychotherapist. If symptoms are not severe
try breathing techniques and practicing in a
mirror. Social networks and dating sites
makes it easier.
According to Dr. Gilmartin, author of Shyness
& Love: Causes, Consequences, and
Treatment , here are some descriptions of the
person with relationship shyness:
• You are male. Most people that suffer from
romantic or love shyness are men, this is not
new since society expects men to make the
first move, this might be problematic if you
don’t have experience or confidence.• You
are still a virgin. This is not bad by itself,
however society can make a big deal out of
having sex, so frustration and angriness
comes from lack of sexual intimacy. Sharing
sexual experiences can be interpreted as a
sign of maturity.
• You rarely or never date. Your anxiety
levels are high, your expectations are
pessimistic, and your self-image may be low.
• You have suffered, or are still suffering
emotionally from lack of meaningful
companionship. You may desperately want a
romantic relationship, but have not due to
shyness.
• You may suffer from anxiety at the thought
of being face to face with men/women
amicably. This is the essence of love-
shyness.
• If it’s about men you might think that
women are more privileged.
• They are in less physical shape than
average. They tend to be less interested in
sports.
• You may give great importance to physical
beauty (especially facial beauty).
• You are not interested in same-sex
friendships.
• You often have problems expressing
emotions.
• You might be passive-aggressive and not
speak assertively, not expressing what you
really want, so there’s ambiguity.
• Your parents didn’t allow dating.
• You have a serious disposition, contrary to
someone that makes others laugh or smile.
• You had overprotective parents.
Sources:
The Love-Shy Survival Guide by Talmer
Shockley
Shyness and Love: Causes, Consequences,
and Treatment by Dr. Brian G. Gilmartin