Should You Really Tell Him Everything?

Should You Really Tell Him Everything?
By Positivemed-Team
Edited By: Stephanie Dawson
One of the best things about marriage is that
you can say anything and everything that
you want to say to your husband. However,
is it really a wise idea to say everything to
your husband? Fact is that sometimes ugly
truth comes out in a hurtful way if you don’t
watch your mouth. Even though what you
say may be logical it has to be said in a
manner which is not harsh and does not hurt
your husband’s feelings. Everyone has some
problem or other but couples should learn
the skill of speaking kindly.
Following are some samples of things you
might say that can be worked on:
• You’re just like your father:
Saying this to your husband should be
avoided as this may be his fear, that the
worst traits of his family are exhibited by
him. Instead of comparing him with his
father, you can go directly to your point. If
your father-in-law does not value time and
is often late and you think your husband
also does this, explain the importance of
time management to him affectionately
instead of criticizing.
• When are you going to find a new job:
First, why do you want him to find a new
job? Is it the amount of time that he spends
away from home that bothers you or do you
think that he can do better in his career? Be
clear about your thinking before you say
anything that might hurt him. A man
evaluates himself by the way he takes care of
his family and insulting him in such a
sensitive area is not a good idea. The
solution is to talk about your issues with
him then find solutions together that both of
you can work toward.
• My mother warned me you would do this:
This is the last thing he would like to hear
from you. You would probably say this when
you are infuriated but by saying this you are
letting him know that there are others on
your side. This can also feel like a breach of
the sanctity of marriage, to discuss perceived
failings to others. Come directly to the point
you are trying to make instead of informing
him what others think.
• Just leave it, I will do it myself :
This can hurt your husband in two ways:
First it raises questions about your
husband’s elemental need to be a provider,
supporter, and capable person in the house,
while conveying to your husband that his
efforts are sub-par.
• “You always …….” Or “You Never…..”
Its advisable for couples to drop these
phrases from their vocabulary, using them
sets a negative tone, stops communication,
and forces the other person to be defensive.
• Oh! We have to hang out with him again :
If he has any friend whose company is not
comfortable for you, don’t force him to leave
his friend, instead let him spend time with
his friend and you can do something you
want to do, or compromise.
• Please watch the kids. Don’t be careless,
don’t do this ….
A new mom is often nervous and tends to be
over-cautious in terms of her child. Just be
a little careful while trying to instruct your
husband as he should not feel that you know
everything and he knows nothing, it’s his
child too.