10 Most Common Causes of Divorce

Most Common Causes of Divorce
• Bad selection- I chose wrong, I fell in love
for superficial, physical, or resources
reasons, because of that reason, love passed
away quickly. We tried to understand each
other and to adapt into a new life, but we
weren’t ready to understand the compromise
of being together and assume new
responsibilities.
• Money- At first they say , “I thought there
was a future between us.” Each of us had
their own money, but we start getting used
to the roller coaster of money, when we had
money everything was relatively calm, but
when the money ran out arguments and
complaints started to rise. Will and
compromise were regulated by money.
• Sacrifice - We thought that marriage was
all good and we didn’t want to see the
negative part of it. When adversity came, we
didn’t accept our responsibilities. We always
had an apology or the will to make things
better. We didn’t make any effort to keep
marriage passionate or happy during all
these years. We weren’t honest about
ourselves, nor with our partner. We never
had a realistic life plan to live in harmony,
we were just living for the moment.
• Violence- We separated because my
partner has anger attacks that make him
loose control, and he or she doesn’t want to
go to therapy. After these moments of
extreme anger, there is jealousy because of
thinking in ‘I’ rather than us. Alcohol and
drugs will make this attitude worse and more
threatening. At this point, violence has
penetrated our marriage and affected the
perception our kids have about themselves.
Our violence is shaping our children’s
behavior and this can lead to personal-
emotional wounds that cannot be healed.
None of us can lead a normal life because
we are traumatized, suffering is not a cause
to love someone.
• Virtues and values - Because I didn’t knew
how to reinforce or compliment the virtues,
values and skills. Even though I know it is a
special relationship every time we have a
fight it made that some flaws more evident
and strong.
• Infidelity - We promised each other, we
didn’t make it. Someone told us that
marriage was a chain, not a choice. We are
hooked to our lovers, the rush of knowing
new people keeps us motivated, we are
hooked to impossible loves, destructive or
unstable types, we are used to self-sabotage
in love and unconsciously we assume that
we don’t want to be happy.
• Love and dedication- We promised we
would change the toxic attitudes in
ourselves, we weren’t able to change a single
one because we haven’t made a single effort
to adapt or don’t have the will to be better.
We thought that the act of marriage would
fix our negative sides, we became each time
more selfish.
• Egoism - Our egotistical impulses and
individualism didn’t allow us to enjoy our
partner, we kept mentally and emotionally
separated, we were close in a sexual
dimension but not in the mental or
psychological. Each time we lived our own
life and when problems arrived we knew we
were facing them individually not as a
couple.
• Changes . When we get married, we
change. This phrase is common and not
reality. When we marry we have exactly the
same flaws and difficulties, they are not
going to change if there is no compromise
and clear and solid actions directed to
change, like counseling. We cannot change
for others, we need to change for ourselves.
• Guilt - There are those that have never
dealt with their own past. They become
frustrated with unmet needs. They often fear
conflict and loss of the relationsh